A Personal Reflection

I'm a bit scared that Dave's leaving soon. With only four people who consistently attend the group, dynamics change when one person leaves.

Dave brings a sense of authentic sharing and inquisitiveness to the group. He participates fully and always listens. He is often very affirming. What happens when you lose this kind of person?

Writing helps because I gain perspective through it. I am reminded that this is not my group. If I truly believe that it is the Holy Spirit that sustains it then I must place my trust in Him. I simply need to be faithful and do the things that I am entrusted with.

Newcomer dynamics

Our group is pretty unique when compared to other small groups. We have communion on a weekly basis, value participation, and attempt to create an environment where ideas and discussions emerge organically. There is no appointed leader in the sense that he/she dictates programs or the direction of the group.

When a newcomer experiences this we're not quite sure how they'll react. We had this happen a couple Saturdays back and I felt like it changed the dynamic of the meeting. When you sense that there may be someone there who doesn't fully "get it" or doesn't voice out like everyone else, it changes things. We become conscious of that person and wonder whether or not he's doing alright. We also become more guarded because the relationship hasn't developed.

What do we do then when people decide to check out our group? What I don't want to happen is a full explanation of what our group is about to this new person. It happened to me when I once visited a group. They spent hours explaining their theology, philosophy, and level of hierarchy. The whole time I was screaming inside, "show me what you do!" Let me experience it! We would rather experience a community than be told what it's about.

Being secure in who you are as a group is difficult when you feel that you are constantly being scrutinized. Perhaps this is partly rooted in trying to retain the newcomer. This is rooted in my own insecurity. Accepting the fact that you can't please everyone maybe the first step I need to take. Surrendering to the spirit and acknowledging His work in all of us takes pressure off of me, or us for that matter, to convince that individual to stay.

Dave's Thoughts...

     It’s a privilege to be a part of this community.  In the past weeks we have pondered so many aspects of who Jesus is, what church is, who we are, and how we should live in this world.  Discussion has been at times abstract, and at other times, tangible and personal.  No subject is off limits if it is on someone’s mind.  We bring diversity to our common table, realizing that unity which anchors us all.  Seeing this unified diversity is beautiful as we each have our differences, but encourage each other in the things we are passionate about. 

     This is not to say we have a perfect community.  In our search for perfect community, I think we acknowledge there is none.  We come together because we are broken, tired, and spent.  We come to experience God’s presence, which is partly shown through the way we share each other’s joys and burdens.  In our dialogue, listen to one another’s story or ideas, and in turn we are also listened to.  Through this discussion we question, dream, learn, and grow together in Christ.

A Safe Place

A young group that meets weekly rides on momentum. I have been in groups where a missed meeting breaks the rhythm. I was scared this was going to happen to ours. We had an awesome communion two Saturdays ago but missed last Saturday because of appointments and events. I was a bit anxious about tonight's meeting.

As with all our meetings, we had communion. We shared reflections as we partook of the body and blood of Christ.

Towards the end of our meeting Kokoy mentioned that this was one of the safest place for him. How cool is that! This is why we exist. We want to create a place where people are safe and where they can be authentic and transparent but still be accepted and loved. We yearn to be known fully and deeply.

One of my prayers would be for us to have a missional component. I think it's important for the Body of Christ to reach out and bring life to our communities. It'll be a bit tough since most are involved in their own ministry or work. For now having communion on Saturdays and sharing our lives will have to do.

I often wonder if Jesus had community in mind when he prayed, "thy kingdom come." For me, I certainly feel a taste of heaven on Saturday nights at 8.

The Lord's Supper...the remix.

I once asked my professor, Charles Ringma, what a group of friends could do in order to start becoming a Christian community. He said, "take the Lord's Supper together." That's what we did last Saturday.

There were four of us sitting around a table. We had loaf of bread and bottle of wine in the middle. We decided to read the passage from 1 Corinthians and before we partook of the bread, Dave raised it up and gave thanks for the body of Christ. In the same way, I lifted the bottle of wine and gave thanks for the blood that was shed. We then took turns tearing pieces of the bread and drinking the wine.

What happened that night was nothing short of marvelous. I personally, had never encountered communion in that way. Unlike the small flake and the shot glass of grape juice done once a month at church, this was an abundant meal with no shortage. I could partake as much as I wanted to. This reminded me that Christ is abundantly available for us. And as I ate more of the bread and wine I was mysteriously bonded to Christ. His suffering, my forgiveness, and the hope I have in him became more tangible through each bite and sip. The physical became the spiritual.

We naturally started sharing about what the cup and the bread meant to us. While some of us had developed a theology through the years that one needed to be "right" with God before taking communion, our dialogue led back to the abundant grace of God and the security of being His children. We agreed that the partaking of the body was perhaps for all of us. After all, who would need Christ more, the sick or the well? Some of us shared that we had never been sure if we were ever "right" with God and that our brokenness required us to be in a continual process of restoration.

The elements then became a point for fellowship. During the week I wanted to share a song with them so I busted out the guitar and started singing "Faithful Father." Dave knew the song and started singing harmony! It was great! That sealed the deal. It was the most meaningful Lord's Supper I ever had during my twenty plus years of being a Christian. I loved the participatory nature and the time we gave for sharing, fellowship, and reflection upon Christ's death and resurrection. I think it's safe to say that all of us will never see the Lord's Supper in the same way again.

To forgiveness...to grace...to hope...to life...to Christ...cheers!

The vulnerable man

The title of this entry is taken from one of my favorite songs from the new Alanis Morissette album. The words "vulnerable" and "man" rarely go together. We're supposed to be macho, closed-off, and mysterious. We're not supposed to open our inner-selves allowing others to see our softer side. Earlier tonight the vulnerability from two of my closest friends was in full-force and it was a thing of beauty. To me, it was ultimate connectedness as we listened to each other's stories of brokenness and past pains. It brought us to a deeper understanding of what it means to be a bit more fully human as we practiced compassion and entered into each other's suffering.

This made me realize that I am not alone. Through common experiences and solidarity, I have brothers to journey with me. We all realized that the journey would be challenging and the path to wholeness would be an uphill climb. So we naturally posed the question of whether we could ever get rid of some of our dysfunctions. Reluctantly we agreed that it was unlikely, that we would have to constantly grind the axe and keep churning the wheel of character development, while maintaining hope for a better future. It's a tension and it is one of many that mark our Christian journey.

It's All Business

I decided to start a group among business owners and entrepreneurs in our church. I started it for two reasons: 1. As I begin the process of taking the cafe from concept to reality, I needed encouragement and support, 2. I began to see the potential for businesses to make a positive impact in their communities. "Integration" has been my word for the last couple months. So the natural question was how can we integrate faith with everything else we do, including business?

As all first meetings go, one is never sure what to expect. I started with the meeting with a basic overview of why I needed them and how we could encourage and care for one another. With those broad ideas I came in with the same mindset as our Saturday community: expect the group to participate so that ideas and goals naturally emerge. After all, if I impose my own agenda then it becomes harder for the group to own the concept. It was great! Maricar, owner of a flight agency and talent agency, suggested we reach out to the community, the poor in particular. Though we have challenges of our own, she reminded us that we had been blessed and that it's time to bless others who are less fortunate. We all agreed. Piel, her husband, mentioned that he wanted to invite his other entrepreneur friends to join but may be turned off by something preachy. He said, "Let's focus on developing relationships first." Awesome! I was all for that. Francis of Assisi said it best: "Preach the gospel at all times, and when necessary use words." Preaching and teaching are important, but caring for one another and loving each other penetrate deeper than words ever can. It's the gospel in action.