Newcomer dynamics

Our group is pretty unique when compared to other small groups. We have communion on a weekly basis, value participation, and attempt to create an environment where ideas and discussions emerge organically. There is no appointed leader in the sense that he/she dictates programs or the direction of the group.

When a newcomer experiences this we're not quite sure how they'll react. We had this happen a couple Saturdays back and I felt like it changed the dynamic of the meeting. When you sense that there may be someone there who doesn't fully "get it" or doesn't voice out like everyone else, it changes things. We become conscious of that person and wonder whether or not he's doing alright. We also become more guarded because the relationship hasn't developed.

What do we do then when people decide to check out our group? What I don't want to happen is a full explanation of what our group is about to this new person. It happened to me when I once visited a group. They spent hours explaining their theology, philosophy, and level of hierarchy. The whole time I was screaming inside, "show me what you do!" Let me experience it! We would rather experience a community than be told what it's about.

Being secure in who you are as a group is difficult when you feel that you are constantly being scrutinized. Perhaps this is partly rooted in trying to retain the newcomer. This is rooted in my own insecurity. Accepting the fact that you can't please everyone maybe the first step I need to take. Surrendering to the spirit and acknowledging His work in all of us takes pressure off of me, or us for that matter, to convince that individual to stay.